Today at noon, I was sorting out files, paperwork, books, and other things that I need to trash or keep for my move to California. I came upon papers and student work from Nursing school, and read my instructors' comments, reviews, and remarks. I actually did a good job on most of them.
Ten seconds of catatonia...
Maybe I lack sleep after going home at 4 am from the clubs last night. Or perhaps I suddenly realised how time has passed, and how these papers are not merely trash nor inanimate objects anymore, but that I have lived through them two years ago. On them are tokens of hardwork, hours of research, studying, working, and interaction with classmates and teachers. I walked through the hallways of the campus with those papers and books in my hand or backpack. I was a nursing student then. Time has been harsh and at the same time good to me. I am a nurse now.
There are other things in my closet, storage boxes that are just laying there in situ, almost insignificant to anybody but I. When opened and rediscovered, they actually breathe life into my past, my soul, my Self. They are a part of my journey in this tough and exciting life, and yet I am going to throw most of them away. I will only bring what I need for now and the days to come. The past has slipped through my hands, and I will face a new tomorrow. Tomorrow. I do not need to bring all of these with me. I will look at them for one last time, close my eyes, and remember how good and bad Life was those days. I will keep the lessons, the friendships, the knowledge and wisdom, the joy and beauty of being alive. I will thank God for where I am now, who I've become, and what I have achieved and received. I will keep all of these in my heart.
Garbage trucks will pick them up Tuesday and Thursday morning I think.
